Birth Plan
My initial birth plan was to have my mother present! That’s it! “Ha!” laughs in coronavirus. The pandemic changed everything. My parents live across the globe in Nigeria, so the pandemic affected the issuance of visas from numerous countries and the process was a mess. For the first couple of months, my husband and I kept holding on to the hope that my mom or even his would be able to come. It became apparent by the end of the first trimester that it may not happen, and we would be all on our own. Before you misunderstand the significance of this “birth plan”. In Nigeria, typically when a woman gives birth her mother comes to care for her and the baby for the first few months. If the mother is unable to for any reason, then another relative steps up to the plate. Also, typically kids are raised in community, so the parents always have help readily available. So even if the mother must return to work, the baby is in reliable care.
Residing in the US where things are vastly different from short maternity leaves to expensive childcare, and even grandparents’ help handicapped by their work status makes it complicated. So here I was, at a crossroads of how to proceed. I knew I didn’t just want to wing it so a friend who had previously had a similar dilemma advised me to get a doula “birth support person” to help ease some of the anxiety I was feeling. At the very least, if my mom made it just in time It would be a win-win. My birth preference as I prefer to call it, was born. I wanted to try for an unmedicated vaginal birth for an easier recovery period since the care of the baby was going to be primarily on me and the husband. My doula @beethedoula helped prepare me for that preference.
Maternity Leave
I worked full time my entire pregnancy. Only blessing of coronavirus in that period was my job had been moved to work remotely so the whole time, I worked from home. Overall, pregnancy had been kind to me. In the end however, as every mom likely agrees you get tired and just so ready to meet your precious little one. That was the case with me. My company maternity leave was a generous 4 months which I was more than grateful for. Only problem was, my due date was in February and by the date, I would only have accrued 3 vacation days “Gotta love America’s consideration for postpartum”. Anyways what this meant was, to truly get paid maternity leave for the full duration I would have to work till I pop literally because I wouldn’t accrue any vacation days while on leave and couldn’t borrow into the future either. Fun!!
I decided I would damn the consequence and take exactly 2 weeks off before my due date. This was a gamble, because everyone knows babies’ due dates are +/- 2 weeks but I needed the rest to be in the right frame of mind. Baby would be due on Saturday, so the Friday 2 weeks before would be my last day. I would use 3 days of vacation accrued and then the rest of the time off would be unpaid until I deliver then the maternity leave would kick in. That’s exactly what I did, took off and kicked off my much-needed R&R in preparation for baby.
Birth Day
Its 8:00am the first Thursday and 4th day after my maternity leave AKA same day unpaid leave begins till I go into labor. I was in the bathroom trying to pee and then instead, water gushed out! Immediately I knew my water broke. The excitement that filled me in that moment I exclaimed OMG babe! My water just broke to my husband who was mid zoom call in the next room. I then proceeded to go make breakfast because my doula had stressed the importance of eating at least one decent meal l before the contractions got severe. I was almost done with the eggs when the first contractions hit, it felt strong but bearable. I laughed it off and quickly finished up breakfast, then messaged my doula my water broke. She asked me to time my contractions and let her know when she could come over to help me labor. A very well welcome offer because though the contractions were all over the place the first few hours, they were getting stronger each time. . One thing I didn’t realize was that once your water broke, it will continue to trickle, and a regular pad won’t cut it. Thankfully I had prepared for postpartum and had bought depend absorbent disposable underwear and it truly helped.
Doula showed up at 10:30am. We did breathing exercises, I moved around a lot, leaned on my husband, got in the bath tub at different intervals. Around 1:00pm, we headed for the hospital, and I called my OB to let her know. She assured me she would see me in a few hours. We got to the hospital and was informed that I had dilated 6cm which meant that I could be admitted but I remember feeling a bit disappointed because I believed I should have dilated at least 7cm by then.
We got to the room, and I handed my printed birth preferences to the nurses. I had given my OB one as well previously. Then the marathon began lol! I labored for hours but each time I asked to be checked I was still only 7cm dilated. Around 7:00pm I was getting tired and really wanted to cave in for an epidural. My doula and husband reminded me of my WHY and that helped keep me going. Around 8:00pm, my doula initiated a booty shake technique alongside my husband to wiggle a bedsheet over my hips to help move the baby down if she was stuck. The next time I was checked I was 8.5cm dilated. That was all the motivation I needed for the last mile. I had been intermittent monitored but around 8:30pm I had to be hooked up to an IV on the bed for hydration.
10:50pm, I was fully dilated and ready to push and the nurses told me to hold on that the doctor wasn’t here yet. I thought WTF! And they dropped another bomb, it would be her back up doctor and not my main OB I had seen my entire pregnancy!!Double WTF!! Upset was an understatement. My birth team(Hubby and doula) told me to ignore them and allow my body to do the work and push the baby when I feel the urge to. Just when I started to push, the doctor showed up. Thankfully pushing lasted only 15 minutes and she was earthside at 11:21pm! My precious little rainbow baby! I can’t even explain the feeling, all the pain went away the instant her head popped out. One more push and her body was delivered! Her cry felt like hearing a melody, oh what a relief! My husband cut the cord, she had her first poop right on me!! Hahah TMI?? and the nurses wiped us both and immediately placed her on me for skin to skin. She latched on to my breast easily and started to suckle I remember whispering I am so happy to finally hold you in my arms, I love you. My husband kissed me and said you did it!! My parents were on video call to congratulate me. They had stayed up late in Nigeria despite the 7-hour time difference praying and waiting. The next 24 hours were a blur in relation to all the medical checks for me and the baby. Everything was fine and we were cleared to go home by noon on day 2.
Felt so happy and fulfilled but most importantly thankful that though not everything worked out as I preferred, it was still a decent experience overall. I strongly believe that certain preparations helped to result in this 15-hour, 21 minutes first time birth. In the moment I felt that was long until I later saw the stats on labor durations for first time moms being closer to 24 hours or above.